I doubt too many Chicago criminal defense attorneys are jumping at the chance to represent a 70-year-old man nabbed with two bottles of expensive champagne in his jacket. But you have to hand it to him, at least he has good taste.
And since the suspect in question has 62 prior arrests, according to an Associated Press article, perhaps it makes more sense to make his considerable risk of prison time worth the effort. Seriously, what self-respecting, seasoned liquor thief would trade his freedom for cheap wine (the name of the $135-per-bottle champagne was not disclosed in the article)?
I suppose his lawyer could dress him up in a grandfatherly cardigan sweater and reading glasses, but the jury would be more sympathetic if he had tried to steal arthritis cream or a copy of Reader's Digest.
Technically the offense was a misdemeanor retail theft, since the value of the stolen goods was less than $300, but Cook County prosecutors decided to upgrade it to a felony, given the accused's illustrious resume. The veteran thief has used more than 50 aliases throughout his criminal career (I wonder if "Dom Perignon" is one of them?), according to the AP article.
In related news (Chicago Sun-Times), four suspects who tried to rob a North Side Chicago jewelry store by first breaking into an adjoining beauty salon successfully made off with -- (drum roll please) -- $20 worth of shampoo. So while they (so far) got away with the attempted theft of some truly valuable loot, their images reportedly were captured by a security camera and they may ultimately end up in the big house for a bottle or two of hair product.
At least they'll be sporting shiny, full-bodied hairdos for their booking photos.
Perhaps the would-be champagne bandit and the wannabe jewel thieves will have the opportunity to discuss their fine tastes in precious gems and premium spirits over a not-so-fine cup of prison wine -- but let's not get ahead of ourselves, since the accused are considered innocent until proven guilty.
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Need a Chicago criminal attorney? (FindLaw)
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Illinois Criminal Code: Theft (State of Illinois)
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